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Robot Monkey

An Open Letter to the LCVG Community

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Robot Monkey    137

To our LCVG Community:

 

You've spoken, and we?ve heard you. Good service and a good customer experience are areas of the business that we care deeply about. And frankly, we've not been doing a good enough job.

 

Some of you have expressed frustration with the customer experiences you have had with with the Controller Down forum; frustration with having to look past posts about skateboarding dogs to find your latest BluRay news.

 

The majority of members who browse the Controller Down forum have had a terrific experience from their first day, and continue to, day in and day out. But when anyone questions the readability of our forums, or our commitment to our members, it's something we take very seriously.

 

We have been following this issue closely, and with on-going testing have identified several factors that can cause readability issues indicated by two glazed-over eyeballs. To address this issue, and as part of our ongoing work, we have already made certain improvements to forum.

 

We are also implementing some important policy changes intended to keep you in the forum, worry-free.

 

As of today, the Controller Down forum covered by an enhanced warranty program to address specifically the failures indicated by two glazed-over eyeballs. While we will still have a general one year eyeball warranty (two years in some countries), we are announcing today a three-year warranty that covers any eyeball that displays a glazed-over state. If a member has an issue indicated by two glazed-over eyeballs, we will repair your eyeballs free of charge?including shipping?for three years from your join date. We will also retroactively reimburse any of you who paid for repairs related to problems indicated by this error message in the past. In doing so, we stand behind our forum and take responsibility to ensure that every forum member continues to have a fantastic reading experience.

 

If we have let any of you down in the experience you have had with the forum, we sincerely apologize. We are taking responsibility and are making these changes to ensure that every forum member continues to have a great experience.

 

This will take a few days to roll out globally, and I appreciate your continued patience as we launch this program. I've posted an FAQ that should address some additional questions, and we'll update it over the next few days.

 

I want to thank you for your loyalty.

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foogledricks    135

I don't understand. How is this going to fix the LCVG logo? Or Dean's routine calls to assassinate Bill Gates. Or Romier's goddess complex. Or Josh's insider info journalistic noggin inflation. Or Brian's pithy developer-centric opinations. Or Joey's borg-like obsession with technology. Or my inflammatory sarcastic trolling. Will it address any of that?

 

If not, then no sale. I'm going to frequent threads and forums with innovation rather than the same-old same-old first person postings.

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Carlucci    180

I heard you can fix your eyballs by wrapping a towel around your head and then imagining Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba in Girl-on-girl action.

 

YMMV.

 

 

Carlos.

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Rob B    12

eyeball replacement hmmmmmm interesting maybe this will end my reign was The Wurd Killa

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Robot Monkey    137
Customer Experience? Ugh. You guys are gonna make this a pay-for site aren't you?

 

Yes, but the microtransactions will be paid with ForumPoints (FP) instead of dollars.

 

Here's a breakdown of the exciting and simple system:

 

Read a thread: 163 FP for AAA titles, 47 FP for Testing forum

Reply to a Thread: 68 FP

Start a Thread: 231 FP

Put kfredericks in Ignore List: (included with subscription)

 

200 FP = $1.67 + daily prime - the week number of the year (Julian calendar).

 

Simple!

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Calvin    10

Wow,this is really good news,though it should have happened sooner.Now if you fix the D.R.M. & the A.S.S. issues,it'll be golden :)

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JoeyN    169
Yes, but the microtransactions will be paid with ForumPoints (FP) instead of dollars.

 

Here's a breakdown of the exciting and simple system:

 

Read a thread: 163 FP for AAA titles, 47 FP for Testing forum

Reply to a Thread: 68 FP

Start a Thread: 231 FP

Put kfredericks in Ignore List: (included with subscription)

 

200 FP = $1.67 + daily prime - the week number of the year (Julian calendar).

 

Simple!

 

I would be rich beyond belief

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PoisonJam    29

I'm sorry, but if this site is going for-pay then I must insist on another redesign: throw off traditional forum design and "applify" this place. I'm thinking a slick, shiny black screen with a single muted circular orange button right in the middle entitled simply: "Do". This button will enable one to start a new thread, read existing threads, reply to existing threads, manage one's control panel, and send PMs, depending on how you press it. And if you press it and something unexpected happens, it's because you are pressing it wrong.

 

Then, and only then, will this place be worth my hard-earned FP's, my friend.

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Robot Monkey    137
What this place really needs is a thin border of chrome

 

Then you are our target market for the new new Bling Theme, only 7,381.6 FP!*

 

* Downloads are P2P "torrents-style" via our network in Greenland by way of Yakutsk.

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Jeff W    10

Can I get all my text in that cool Spider-man font? That with the chrome would be awesome. Hell, if you do that you could probably get away with having only one or two good threads a year and people would still flock to the site, eagerly snatching up FP's left and right.

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Guest AnitaNella   
Guest AnitaNella

I see at the bottom of the page that as of Dec 10 there have been over 5700 hits. This site hasnt been up that long for there to be that many. How does this work?

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Eldorado    158

I see at the bottom of the page that as of Dec 10 there have been over 5700 hits. This site hasnt been up that long for there to be that many. How does this work?

Hey Mr or Mrs 'I've only got one post ever and this is it', How would you even know when the site was formed?

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Eldorado    158

I see at the bottom of the page that as of Dec 10 there have been over 5700 hits. This site hasnt been up that long for there to be that many. How does this work?

The real answer though is that it's all Russian hacking.  

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Paul    50

The real answer though is that it's all Russian hacking.

Fake post!

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