EnemaEms Posted March 31, 2008 Report Share Posted March 31, 2008 So, April 1st is Bruce's 44th birthday. How fitting that the biggest douche I know was born on April Fools Day. So Bruce, here are your 10 questions. Be honest. Don't lie, like you do to your wife and family about us. Do you think most people consider me to be a gold digger since you are so old and I am so young? How many pictures of naked men do you secretly have from Cancun? If you were forced to have to play NFL2K5 and then lost to Keith (I know, this is a horrible question), would you finally admit that you admire him like Rock Stars admire The Beatles? If you had to have sex with a farm animal, which animal would you pretend to be while performing the act? When are you going to get a normal furnace like the rest of America, you Kennedy Loving bastard? Since you are old, how long has your VCR or microwave or any other device with a clock been blinking 12:00? Who do you think is hotter, Tom Brady or Tom Selleck? Do you always buy refurb gear for your wife, or was the iPod the only thing? I hate to think that your poor wife is suffering with a refurbed vibrator. I know you like all the boys, but do all the boys really like you? Finally, Who do you have a bigger man-crush on, Jeter or A-rod? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordan_E Posted March 31, 2008 Report Share Posted March 31, 2008 44?! Hah, I wish I was 44 again! And remember, past that age, things start really going to hell! Happy Birthday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robot Monkey Posted March 31, 2008 Report Share Posted March 31, 2008 Happy Birthday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel P Posted March 31, 2008 Report Share Posted March 31, 2008 Happy Birthday Bruce. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PHiL Posted March 31, 2008 Report Share Posted March 31, 2008 Happy Bday Bruce Ol Boy! More Pics Please:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fighting fish Posted March 31, 2008 Report Share Posted March 31, 2008 Happy B-Day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTello Posted March 31, 2008 Report Share Posted March 31, 2008 Happy Birthday Bruce! We're preparing the candles on your birthday cake right now. We hope to be done before you hit 45. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Union Carbine Posted March 31, 2008 Report Share Posted March 31, 2008 LOL. happy birthday! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whooter Posted March 31, 2008 Report Share Posted March 31, 2008 Happy Birthday! To celebrate, please send me more topless pictures of your wife. Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul Posted March 31, 2008 Report Share Posted March 31, 2008 Happy Birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony G Posted March 31, 2008 Report Share Posted March 31, 2008 Happy Birthday Bruce! The average life expectancy of a male is 73 so we should be able to play Madden 2038. But since your life partner is Dean, we have to knock off 25 years (he's dirty). Well, four more years of Madden till you kick the bucket. :tu Maybe Miami will be good before that time comes. :lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce B Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 So, April 1st is Bruce's 44th birthday. How fitting that the biggest douche I know was born on April Fools Day. So Bruce, here are your 10 questions. Be honest. Don't lie, like you do to your wife and family about us. Do you think most people consider me to be a gold digger since you are so old and I am so young? I think people consider you a golddigger because of your height and you don't have to kneel down to dig How many pictures of naked men do you secretly have from Cancun? Remember, you asked for it.http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m234/bberti/IMG_2197.jpg If you were forced to have to play NFL2K5 and then lost to Keith (I know, this is a horrible question), would you finally admit that you admire him like Rock Stars admire The Beatles? I keep telling you that Keith does not exist, just like there is no spoon. He is a figment of our imagination. If you had to have sex with a farm animal, which animal would you pretend to be while performing the act? Had to have sex with a farm animal? You make that sound like its bad. I would be a jackass, just like I am in real life When are you going to get a normal furnace like the rest of America, you Kennedy Loving bastard? I honor the deaths of the millions of dinosaurs so I could have fossil fuel. Since you are old, how long has your VCR or microwave or any other device with a clock been blinking 12:00? I dont understand the question. What is this VCR and microwave you speak of? Could I put them in my outhouse? Who do you think is hotter, Tom Brady or Tom Selleck? Well Tom Selleck is closer to my age and Tom Brady's face isn't looking so good after the Giants got done with him Do you always buy refurb gear for your wife, or was the iPod the only thing? I hate to think that your poor wife is suffering with a refurbed vibrator. Her vibrator runs directly off the telephone pole near the house. At her best, the town is without power for 6 hours. I know you like all the boys, but do all the boys really like you? And why wouldn't they. I prefer altar boys and they prefer me. Finally, Who do you have a bigger man-crush on, Jeter or A-rod? Jeter has cuter dimples and his ass is much tighter. He is like butta! Thanks for the birthday wishes my brethren Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce B Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Happy Birthday! To celebrate, please send me more topless pictures of your wife. Thank you. She is the one on the far left. Did you mean topless from the front? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnemaEms Posted April 1, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 You obviously are not a good camera man, since your wife is almost cut out of the entire picture. Only her arm and tattooed leg can be seen. -Dean- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foogledricks Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 I've waited a long time to tell you this. I am your son. Which means you fucked my mother. You sonuvabitch. Happy Birthday. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnemaEms Posted April 1, 2008 Author Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 I've waited a long time to tell you this. I am your son. Which means you fucked my mother. You sonuvabitch. Happy Birthday. Didn't realize Bruce was that close to the front of the line. -Dean- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PHiL Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 Thank You Bruce!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce B Posted April 1, 2008 Report Share Posted April 1, 2008 The following people can burn in hell for not wishing me a Happy Birthday: 1. Joey- You and your humongous HD-DVD collection can burn. 2. Kelley-Must be still mad about not getting his own birthday thread 3. Jose Canseco- You would think after introducing me to a known steroid dealer he could pass along birthday wishes. Burn baby burn!!!!!:flipoff:flipoff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeyN Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 I'm sorry bruce. Thought I responded after Dean told me to look at the thread Belated Happy Birthday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelley Posted April 2, 2008 Report Share Posted April 2, 2008 happy belated birthday...and yes I'm still hurt. Some scars run deep, and being mentioned as a footnote on Dean's birthday post is one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Derrik Draven Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 Happy Birthday fellow old guy! Mine is coming up on the 21st. I'll be 41. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordan_E Posted April 8, 2008 Report Share Posted April 8, 2008 I'll be 41. Big whoop! I turned 47 yesterday! And to quote The Beatles: "I feel fine..." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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