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Happy Birthday Bruce (Gramps)!!!!


EnemaEms
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So, April 1st is Bruce's 44th birthday. How fitting that the biggest douche I know was born on April Fools Day. So Bruce, here are your 10 questions. Be honest. Don't lie, like you do to your wife and family about us.

 

  1. Do you think most people consider me to be a gold digger since you are so old and I am so young?
  2. How many pictures of naked men do you secretly have from Cancun?
  3. If you were forced to have to play NFL2K5 and then lost to Keith (I know, this is a horrible question), would you finally admit that you admire him like Rock Stars admire The Beatles?
  4. If you had to have sex with a farm animal, which animal would you pretend to be while performing the act?
  5. When are you going to get a normal furnace like the rest of America, you Kennedy Loving bastard? ;)
  6. Since you are old, how long has your VCR or microwave or any other device with a clock been blinking 12:00?
  7. Who do you think is hotter, Tom Brady or Tom Selleck?
  8. Do you always buy refurb gear for your wife, or was the iPod the only thing? I hate to think that your poor wife is suffering with a refurbed vibrator.
  9. I know you like all the boys, but do all the boys really like you?
  10. Finally, Who do you have a bigger man-crush on, Jeter or A-rod?

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Happy Birthday Bruce! The average life expectancy of a male is 73 so we should be able to play Madden 2038. But since your life partner is Dean, we have to knock off 25 years (he's dirty). Well, four more years of Madden till you kick the bucket. :tu Maybe Miami will be good before that time comes. :lol

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So, April 1st is Bruce's 44th birthday. How fitting that the biggest douche I know was born on April Fools Day. So Bruce, here are your 10 questions. Be honest. Don't lie, like you do to your wife and family about us.

 

 

  1. Do you think most people consider me to be a gold digger since you are so old and I am so young?
     
    I think people consider you a golddigger because of your height and you don't have to kneel down to dig
     
     
  2. How many pictures of naked men do you secretly have from Cancun?
     
    Remember, you asked for it.
    http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m234/bberti/IMG_2197.jpg

     
  3. If you were forced to have to play NFL2K5 and then lost to Keith (I know, this is a horrible question), would you finally admit that you admire him like Rock Stars admire The Beatles?
     
    I keep telling you that Keith does not exist, just like there is no spoon. He is a figment of our imagination.
     
     
  4. If you had to have sex with a farm animal, which animal would you pretend to be while performing the act?
     
    Had to have sex with a farm animal? You make that sound like its bad.
     
    I would be a jackass, just like I am in real life
     
     
  5. When are you going to get a normal furnace like the rest of America, you Kennedy Loving bastard? ;)
     
    I honor the deaths of the millions of dinosaurs so I could have fossil fuel.

     
  6. Since you are old, how long has your VCR or microwave or any other device with a clock been blinking 12:00?
     
     
    I dont understand the question. What is this VCR and microwave you speak of? Could I put them in my outhouse?
     
  7. Who do you think is hotter, Tom Brady or Tom Selleck?
     
     
    Well Tom Selleck is closer to my age and Tom Brady's face isn't looking so good after the Giants got done with him
     
     
  8. Do you always buy refurb gear for your wife, or was the iPod the only thing? I hate to think that your poor wife is suffering with a refurbed vibrator.
     
     
    Her vibrator runs directly off the telephone pole near the house. At her best, the town is without power for 6 hours.
     
  9. I know you like all the boys, but do all the boys really like you?
     
     
    And why wouldn't they. I prefer altar boys and they prefer me.
     
  10. Finally, Who do you have a bigger man-crush on, Jeter or A-rod?
     
     
    Jeter has cuter dimples and his ass is much tighter. He is like butta!

 

Thanks for the birthday wishes my brethren

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The following people can burn in hell for not wishing me a Happy Birthday:

 

1. Joey- You and your humongous HD-DVD collection can burn.

 

2. Kelley-Must be still mad about not getting his own birthday thread

 

3. Jose Canseco- You would think after introducing me to a known steroid dealer he could pass along birthday wishes.

 

Burn baby burn!!!!!:flipoff:flipoff

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