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The 7 Commandments All Video Games Should Obey

Robot Monkey

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Check out The 7 Commandments All Video Games Should Obey, from Cracked. There's some great stuff in there like:


#2. Thou shalt make sure your game actually works.

We're ashamed to even have to include this. This is like having to ask McDonald's to cook the burger before they serve it to you, or having to remind your dentist not to videotape himself slapping you in the face with his penis while you're under. It's the sort of thing you'd feel ridiculous saying.

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Ok, the first point had me nodding my head in vehement agreement. Each subsequent point forced me to ratchet up my expressions of appreciation until by the end I was jumping up and down in my office screaming "YES!!! BY GOD, YES!!!! THESE PEOPLE GET IT!!!!"*


*Note: none of this actually happened


Cracked makes top ten lists like other folks make peepee, but by God this was a great one.

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Fantastic. Spot on.


And these are the same people who're baffled about how the Nintendo Wii was able to depants the whole industry with its cheap, underpowered little machine. Hey, maybe it's because they're the one company that still seems to realize humans need interaction with other humans. Real interaction, not trash talking over a headset behind fake names.


This is a category that irks me the most. Multiplayer should be at this point offering split screen AND online...or even better, splitscreen + online at the same time. A lot of games coming out with one or the other lately (Dynasty Warriors: no online...Shadowrun...no splitscreen). And Motorstorm doesn't have splitscreen? So much for grabbing that clearance copy of it at Target.


And unskippable cutscenes right AFTER a savepoint. UGH.

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