Chris F Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Uwe Boll Presents... ALONE IN THE DARK http://www.boll-kg.de/neues/aitd_trailer_large.htm Kill. Me. Now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Daisy Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Someone should really take away this man's funding before he gets to movies we'd actually want to see made well. Glen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zathras Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Wow they have GI Joe bullets. I've seen some bad movies in my day but that looks like a real stinker the likes of which the world has rarely known. "DON'T OPEN THAT DOOR!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris F Posted August 11, 2004 Author Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 To add even more to this whole Uwe Boll is the devil thing... http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=stor...people_kingsley BEN KINGSLEY IN BLOODRAYNE? WTF? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyberwoo Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Hmm I thought that Alone In The Dark clip was for a sequal to the Alone In The Dark video game. What was with the CGI shootout? That looked like a modern day video game or cartoon not a movie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelley Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Oh my god, that looks so ASSTACULAR!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graeme Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 OMG, they should just release it on FanFilms when it's done, cause the quality is about the same.... maybe worse. I'm sure it'll be an instant camp classic though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DataTox Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 On most Friday nights, I have a few people over for beer and bad movies and not too long ago we rented the other Uwe Boll modern classic, House of the Dead. You know, I think it is awesome that Sega sponsors raves on remote islands...definately good for its bottom line. In complete honesty, that movie was such a crapfest that there was very little even heavy drinking could do to make it better. Why does this guy keep getting money to make "movies?" Chris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelley Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 He doesn't get money to make them, he pays for them himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordan_E Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 The Mystery Begins is right! :wtf: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DataTox Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Originally posted by gigapower@Aug 11 2004, 03:02 PM He doesn't get money to make them, he pays for them himself. Well that's good to know. A few more stinkers like House of the Dead and he should be firmly out of money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obnoxious Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Ohh jeez that looks terrible... the end of the trailer where the knife flies into the old guy, it showed him like "tossing the knife" underhand, and then suddenly it just showed the knife in the old guy. ... oh jeez... I'd actually like to see a well done movie of Blood Rayne or even Farcry for that matter... but oh jeez. there goes my hopes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adamsappel Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Oh, my, what's that smell? I can accept that movie guns have no recoil, but tens of thousands of CGI tracer bullets should at least hit something, if not ricochet. Looks like everyone's on top of their acting game, too. Perhaps Stephen Dorff is hoping his receding hairline will create the impression of height. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dogbert Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 Don't open that door! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackcalx Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 I can't wait to get home and see this one. Though something tells me I'll enjoy my dental appointment more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark E Posted August 11, 2004 Report Share Posted August 11, 2004 What is wrong with you people? The best line in that trailer is "Don't be insane!" I was waiting for "Hmm, okay then." I imagine "Alone in the Dark" refers to the lone patron at every theater this stinkbomb opens in. It looks foul. I'm very upset they didn't use any in-game footage from the original title in this one though :green: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackcalx Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 I was right, I enjoyed my flouride treatment more than this trailer. Pure crap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeyN Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 After seeing that , id rather watch a Imported godzilla film capt Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EnemaEms Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 Ladies and gentlemen...the acting stylings of Tara Reid, Christian Slater, and Stephen Dorf. This actually looks worst than the worst film ever made, House of the Dead. Not even the T&A in that one could save it. I think I would rather play in my own shit then waste 90 minutes of my life with this stinker. I will now file this film under my "Don't give a fuck" folder. -Dean- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark E Posted August 12, 2004 Report Share Posted August 12, 2004 I think I would rather play in my own shit then waste 90 minutes of my life with this stinker. There's a psychology experiment in this somewhere, I swear. 8) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whooter Posted January 31, 2005 Report Share Posted January 31, 2005 SHOCKING! :lmfao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jordan_E Posted January 31, 2005 Report Share Posted January 31, 2005 Uwe = Pewee! I have the misfortune of renting House of the Dead, and know that I could put together something better than that hack Uwe! It's pretty depressing that Boll can actually get shit made after HotD to begin with, but knowing that we still have Bloodrayne to look forward to now! Here's the trailer, if you dare! http://www.joblo.com/arrow/index.php?id=733 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris F Posted January 31, 2005 Author Report Share Posted January 31, 2005 SHOCKING! :lmfao Some choice quotes: "The three stars have seen better days, but I'd like to think they could still do something classier and more dignified than this. Like gay porn." "Saying Uwe Boll?s Alone in the Dark is better than his 2003 American debut House of the Dead is akin to praising syphilis for not being HIV." And my favorite... "Terrible beyond belief, like the worst 1940s serial ever made. As for Slater and Dorff...well, they've been in worse movies--wait a minute, no they haven't." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carlucci Posted January 31, 2005 Report Share Posted January 31, 2005 :lmfao I give the poster a big :tu though. It's creepy! Carlos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romier S Posted February 21, 2005 Report Share Posted February 21, 2005 I came across this article recently which I thought would be a great read for you Uwe Boll fans out there. Original Alone of the Dark screenwriter talks of his experiences Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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