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So Which Film uses the F* Bomb the most


JoeyN
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If you take the right 30 second sample, "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" would blow them all away. ;)

 

 

Which reminds me of something. I need assistance finding two things:

 

1. I got an email years ago with an audio recording that was a very clinical explanation of the F-word and all it's uses (as a noun, verb, as every part of a sentence, etc.) It was hilarious, but I lost it. The voice sounded a lot like the Movie Man's voice. I have never been able to find it again.

 

2. Dennis Miller's treatise on the F-Word (I may have read a transcript from a video). I have searched in vain for this one too, but man it was LOL funny. I remember he uses the word "fricative" in there, if it helps any of you search gurus

 

Carlos.

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English Language

 

Midge. Moose. Moose. Midge. You know, alliteration is just one of the quirky

little twists that one can use to augment the English language. English, for my

jingoistic dollar: still the creme de la creme of all languages.

Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but to listen to all the alarmist

intellectual Henny-Penny doom-mongers going on and on these days about the

imminent death of the English language, you'd think the English language was,

like, ya know, totally dying, or something. Whatever.

 

George Orwell warned that banalities in the English language reflect a

corrupted culture. "Banalities" without the "B" is analities. That's funny.

 

English is not just the language of Britain, Australia, Canada, and certain

parts of Kentucky. It's also the language of business, diplomacy, and

technology.

 

Now, when I say English, I'm talking about what we speak here in the States,

without the funny accent. Because I don't know what language working-class

Brits are speaking over there in England, but it isn't like anything I've ever

heard. I saw the movie "Snatch" over the weekend and I felt more out of it than

Liz Taylor at the Golden Globes.

 

I have always had a deep and abiding love for the English language, from early

on in life. I've always loved the flirtatious tango of consonants and vowels,

the sturdy dependability of nouns and the capricious whimsy of verbs, the

strutting pageantry of the adjective, and the flitting evanescence of the

adverb, all kept safe and orderly by those reliable little policemen,

punctuation marks. Wow. You think I got my ass kicked much in high school?

 

You can gauge the esteem in which we hold the English language simply by

telling someone you majored in it. Now, the first thing they do is mentally

subtract twenty grand off what they think you make. The second thing they do is

ask you to bring them a menu and tell them the soup of the day. And why not? In

school, English was the easiest subject to bullshit your way through. There are

no Cliff Notes for Physics. You can't bluff your way through a Calculus

discussion just by watching "Calculus: The Movie." But when it comes to essay

questions, well, you can fake it like a hooker being paid by the moan.

 

I understand that English is a protean, evolving language that must constantly

change in order to remain relevant. But let's not go out of our way to

appropriate words from other cultures simply to justify making something more

expensive. Hey, you can add all the Italian suffixes you want, you're not

fooling anybody over there at Starbucks. It's still just coffee. Now ring me

the fuck up, you frappaloser.

 

And Starbuccos is not the only cultural borrower. Doctors tend to lift most of

their phrases from Greek, which is only fitting since every time I go to see

one, he somehow feels the need to spend the afternoon spelunking around in my

ass. All I know is if Hippocrates had been born someplace other than Athens,

they would have come up with an easier way to check my prostate than drilling

me like theyre George Bush and my ass is Alaska.

 

I wouldn't be so worried about the fate of the English language if more of us

could speak it properly. Forget Stone Cold Steve Austin or the Rock, if you

want to see real wrestling, watch our newly elected president pronounce the

word "unilateral."

 

Love the guy or hate him, you have to admit that when Bush is speaking

unscripted, the English language disintegrates like cotton candy in a monsoon.

Even he looks like hes surprised at whats coming out of his mouth, kind of like

Malkovich when he had that puppeteer inside his head.

 

Folks, the English language is very much alive. From where I'm standing, our

mother tongue is kicking ass and taking names. It's large and in charge,

bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, full of piss and vinegar and ready to open up a

big ol can of whup-ass. It's calling the shots, it's bouncing and behaving,

it's all up in it, and it's all that and a bag of chips. For the love of God,

somebody please tell me what in the hell I'm talking about.

 

Now, while I have upon occasion been labeled the E.B. White of the word "fuck,"

you do have to admit that I went an entire football season without saying it.

Take it from a connoisseur, it should be used sparingly, like saffron in a

fucking paella.

 

See--the word "fuck" is a beauty, isn't it? From its fricative genesis,

blossoming into its ripe, rich middle until its cruelly truncated in its prime

by a merciless, glottal stop... In all of its earthy, salty, illicit

Anglo-Saxon glory, "fuck" is almost as satisfying to say as it is to do.

 

Now, some would say I contribute to the coarsening of the English language

through my casual use of profanity. To those critics, I would respond that my

discourse merely exemplifies the vaunted precedent of valorizing the oral

vernacular. I would further add that language is a living tissue, which must

occasionally suffer the rupture of subversion in order to convalesce with more

structural stability. So to those guardians of the linguistic gates who charge

that I shoehorn the F-word in wherever I can, merely to further a rather

tenuous career built entirely on a profane house of cards, well, why dont you

just go fuckerize yourselves.

 

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

 

-- D. Miller

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Ah....here we go...

 

George Carlin - The History and Many Uses of the Word "Fuck"

Perhaps one of the most interesting words

in the English language today, is the word FUCK.

Out of all of the English words which begin with the letter F, FUCK is the only word referred to as the "F" word, it's the one magical word.

FUCK as most words in the english language,

is derived from German,

the word "fricken[?]", which means to strike.

In English, FUCK falls into many grammatical categories.

 

As a transitive verb, for instance.

John FUCK-ed Shirley.

As an intransitive verb, Shirley FUCKS.

It's meaning's not always sexual;

it can be used as an adjective, such as

John's doing all the FUCK-ing work.

As part of an adverb,

Shirley talks too FUCK-ing much.

As an adverb enhancing an adjective,

Shirley is FUCK-ing beautiful.

As a noun, I don't give a FUCK.

As part of a word abso-FUCKING-lutely,

or in-FUCKING-credible.

And, as almost every word in the sentence,

FUCK the FUCK-ing FUCK-ers.

 

As you must realize,

there aren't too many words

with the versatility of FUCK.

As in these examples describing situations

such as fraud,

I got FUCK-ed at the used car lot.

Dismay, Aw FUCK it.

Trouble, I guess I'm really FUCK-ed now.

Agression, Don't FUCK with me buddy.

Difficulty, I don't understand this FUCK-ing question.

Inquiry, Who the FUCK was that?

Dissatisfaction, I don't like what the FUCK is going on here.

Incompetence, He's a FUCK-off.

Dismissal, Why don't you go outside and play hide-and-go-FUCK yourself?

 

I'm sure you can think of many more examples.

With all these multi purpose applications,

how can anyone be offended when you use the word?

We say, use this unique, flexible word more often in your daily speech.

It will identify the quality of your character immediately.

Say it loudly, and proudly!

FUCK you!

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Here it is as I remember it, but as a flash animation. The classical music in the background gives it an aire of sophistication. It's definitely much better spoken out loud.

 

Joel, as much as I appreciate you posting it in full here, I'm a little worried that that many f-bombs in a row might trigger the smartfilter bots to put this site on the naughty list. (*If* that's how they even work.) I've grabbed it and saved it for myself, so maybe it would be prudent to edit it out or put a link instead, just to be safe.

 

 

Carlos.

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