Josh Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/ My favorite: Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whooter Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 :lmfao I like: A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kelley Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." I love these. A guy at work has an autographed picture of Chuck Norris in his cubicle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Daisy Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 My personal favorite. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate. Glen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Daisy Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 The one guy at my workplace I don't mess with. Glen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendak Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn. :lmfao That list was great. Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died. The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible. All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainmaykr Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking. Simultaneously hilarious and sad. Great find. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robot Monkey Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 Too funny! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyberwoo Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 ForbiddenYou don't have permission to access / on this server. Additionally, a 403 Forbidden error was encountered while trying to use an ErrorDocument to handle the request. Halarious! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whooter Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 Chuck Norris doesn't want you to see it. Fortunately for you, this error did not come with a roundhouse kick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeyN Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side. :rotflmao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cyberwoo Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. When Chuck Norris’s wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, “Don’t worry about it honey,” and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, “Never question Chuck Norris.” If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face. Stupid? Yes. Funny? Anything Chuck Norris related is funny. Walker Texas Ranger lever on Conan Obrien = best idea ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Romier S Posted January 3, 2006 Report Share Posted January 3, 2006 :rotflmao I got a good laugh out of a bunch of those. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ColdFire77 Posted January 4, 2006 Report Share Posted January 4, 2006 These three kill me. :lmfao There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress. Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendak Posted January 4, 2006 Report Share Posted January 4, 2006 Found another site that has some other gems....here's a couple One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter. Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did. http://www.funlol.com/funpages/more-chuck-norris.html :lmfao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orpheus Posted January 4, 2006 Report Share Posted January 4, 2006 Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them. :lmfao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel P Posted January 5, 2006 Report Share Posted January 5, 2006 Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just not his own. http://www.nypost.com/seven/01032006/entertainment/58915.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhfagan Posted January 5, 2006 Report Share Posted January 5, 2006 Chuck Norris can make a woman have an orgasm simply by pointing at her and saying, "BOOYA!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robot Monkey Posted January 11, 2006 Report Share Posted January 11, 2006 Chuck Norris, who is 1/8th Cherokee, responded today to the Chuck Norris facts on the intertron. Among other things, he said: Being more a student of the Wild West than the wild world of the Internet, I'm not quite sure what to make of it. It's quite surprising. I do know that boys will be boys, and I neither take offense nor take these things too seriously. I interpret that to mean that he may roundhouse kick me through my PC if he changes his mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Covak Posted January 11, 2006 Report Share Posted January 11, 2006 What a silly, shameless plug for his books. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony G Posted January 11, 2006 Report Share Posted January 11, 2006 What a silly, shameless plug for his books. LOL, I was thinking the same thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whooter Posted January 11, 2006 Report Share Posted January 11, 2006 Well, it is on his website, after all... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robot Monkey Posted January 12, 2006 Report Share Posted January 12, 2006 He's been writing quite a bit lately! (from Jay Pinkerton's stuff I found on my C drive.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starhawk Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 I guess this would be an appropriate thread to post this: The Ultimate Showdown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whooter Posted January 13, 2006 Report Share Posted January 13, 2006 Catchy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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