Robot Monkey Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Wired has this funny article called Game Year in Review: 2010. It's pretty short, but here are some choice lines (the challenge is after the quotes): Meanwhile, Nintendo has once again drawn controversy by announcing that its upcoming console, the Nintendo Apocalypse, will lack any sort of game controller whatsoever. Instead, you will direct the onscreen action by grabbing a household pet by the front legs and "making it do a little dance." Gamers reacted with shock and disbelief, but Nintendo faithful pointed out that this will still be better than a gamepad for first-person shooters. and 2010 was also the year that the world got tired of Katamari Damacy. Katamari 6: Now You Can Roll Up a Total of 1,024 Types of Sushi came out, along with the usual glut of Katamari clones, including Roll Things Up, Let's Roll, Mario Rolls Stuff Up in a Big Ball and Star Wars: Adhesive Death Star. Unfortunately, Xbox was not roasted much. I'm sure we can rectify that (note to Whooter: rectify doesn't mean what you think it does). What would you add to a fictional review of games in the year 2010? Here's my contribution: Sony announced that the PS5 will be so powerful that it will be able to model every particle in the Universe -- and each console can actually create parallel universes. In order to limit the creation of evil parallel universes like that one in the Star Trek episode, developers will have to use middleware written in ancient Sumerian cuneiform. In a widely heralded move, Microsoft will ease licensing restrictions for third-party peripherals with the release of the Xbox 5th Dimension (actually the fourth iteration of the Xbox). This paves the way for the Xbox Nuclear Cooling Tower and the much-anticipated Xbox Lifting Crane. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeyN Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 In 2010 microsoft came to only one conclusion on defeating sony. They sent in Chuck Norris. You know what happened next.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoisonJam Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Let us not forget that gaming nearly took a tragic turn in April of 2010, when a full-size mech that shipped with Steel Battalion IV was used in an attempted robbery of a New Haven-area Target, resulting in three squashed cars, four spilled Starbucks lattes, and one stubbed toe that hospital authorities described as "epic". A spokeperson for Capcom released the following statement: "We are committed to providing today's gamers with the most realistic gaming experience possible. It is unfortunate that one misguided soul chose to abuse our product in this way, but we at Capcom claim no responsibilities for his actions, as there is a very clear warning label on the side of the Mech Controller that states that loading live ammo into the otherwise-functional machine guns is strictly forbidden by Capcom and will result in a negative review being posted on the user's Xbox Live account." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magness Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Let us not forget that gaming nearly took a tragic turn in April of 2010, when a full-size mech that shipped with Steel Battalion IV was used in an attempted robbery of a New Haven-area Target, resulting in three squashed cars, four spilled Starbucks lattes, and one stubbed toe that hospital authorities described as "epic". Too awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony G Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 This paves the way for the Xbox Nuclear Cooling Tower and the much-anticipated Xbox Lifting Crane. Classic! :lmfao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony G Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 In 2010 Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony exit the home gaming business due to their inability to compete with the juggernaut Infinium Labs and it's Phantom Game Service. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robot Monkey Posted January 9, 2006 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Haha you guys are off to a great start!:tu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rustyjaw Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Ninmicrosonytendosoft Corp. Ltd. announced their much anticipated post-Unification gaming moon, "Mario's Playbox Station 1260" ? and while gamers were initially excited about an entire moon reserved for gaming by the newly unified government, which promised "free games until you die from fun or sniping," hopes were dashed when the hidden costs of free gaming were revealed only weeks before opening. A one-way ticket to Mario's Playbox Station 1260 costs 2995.00 shines, well out of the reach of the average gamer. "This is a serious blow to gamer's rights" said EyeW1llKi11U, a representative from the DualShock party, who were instrumental in campaigning for Ninmicrosonytendosoft Corp. Ltd. in the bitterly contested race for the top World Governtainment position. "It's a brutal bi0tchslap in the face for the brave souls who gave their lives in the Console Wars" EyeWi11Ki11U continued. Ninmicrosonytendosoft Corp. Ltd. ran on a platform of gamers rights, promising free games for all, a monument to the Unknown Gamer, and a vow to eradicate the plague of gamelessness that followed the Console Wars. "We are calling for gamers of the world to pick up their controllers, DualShock will bring the mother of all bossfights to the doors of Ninmicrosonytendosoft Corp. Ltd. if that's what it takes to win back our rights as gamers!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeyN Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Let us not forget that gaming nearly took a tragic turn in April of 2010, when a full-size mech that shipped with Steel Battalion IV was used in an attempted robbery of a New Haven-area Target, resulting in three squashed cars, four spilled Starbucks lattes, and one stubbed toe that hospital authorities described as "epic". Which led to the forming of the Voltron Project by the UN in November of 2010, which went nowhere when they couldnt decide on Cars or Lions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rainmaykr Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 In 2010 Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony exit the home gaming business due to it's inability to compete with the juggernant Infinium Labs and it's Phantom Game Service. Haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendak Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 SONY, MICROSOFT TRIGGER WORLD WAR III REDMOND, WA., Jan. 9 /PRNewswire/ -- MICROSOFT CORP. (Nasdaq: MSFT), the leading software manufacturer announced today its formal declaration of war against SONY CORP. stating that "Sony has shown one-too-many CGI target videos." Sony was quick to respond stating that "..our Playstation 4 gaming system can create graphics greater than real life." Due to the massive popularity of video games, which has now grown to a 70 trillion dollar business in the United States alone, the President announced his full support for Microsoft's campaign, promising full American military support. Japan followed this move with its own Military support for SONY CORP. Anti-War activists protested outside of Microsoft's headquarters in Redmond today. A crowd of over 50,000 gathered before Microsoft handed out free Xbox 720's which changed most of their minds. Stay tuned for further updates. JAN. 9/2010 14:31 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel P Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Funny stuff guys. Keep em coming. :tu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boogieman Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Which led to the forming of the Voltron Project by the UN in November of 2010, which went nowhere when they couldnt decide on Cars or Lions :lmfao Everybody knows the lions was the only way to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blind Squirrel Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 In 2010: Xbox, Sony, and Nintendo gamers finally unite when the Apple iConsole creates a breed of fanboys so annoying that they put their differences aside and present a united front against them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel P Posted January 9, 2006 Report Share Posted January 9, 2006 Ouch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buck Posted January 10, 2006 Report Share Posted January 10, 2006 In 2010..... Bethesda Software announced today that they would finally be shipping the next installment in the Elder Scrolls series, Oblivion, for the Xbox 360 and PC. Romier, aka FutureVoid, of LCVG.com was quoted as saying, "Glen and Scott used to always laugh at me because I wouldn't stop talking about it, but who's laughing now, suckers!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Josh Posted January 10, 2006 Report Share Posted January 10, 2006 In 2010: Xbox, Sony, and Nintendo gamers finally unite when the Apple iConsole creates a breed of fanboys so annoying that they put their differences aside and present a united front against them. Ultimately, they realize that the vastly superior hardware and overall experience offered by the iConsole just isn't worth fighting against, and they all cave. Utopia found. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Daisy Posted January 10, 2006 Report Share Posted January 10, 2006 In 2010..... Bethesda Software announced today that they would finally be shipping the next installment in the Elder Scrolls series' date=' Oblivion, for the Xbox 360 and PC. Romier, aka FutureVoid, of LCVG.com was quoted as saying, "Glen and Scott used to always laugh at me because I wouldn't stop talking about it, but who's laughing now, suckers!!![/quote'] In a followup story LCVG's FutureVoid's first child, Oblivion, was quoted as saying... "Holy Shit. That's the game my father named me after? He has never fucking shut up about it. I'm just glad the fucking thing came out. Mom was going to shoot him if he didn't stop talking about it." Glen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anthony G Posted January 10, 2006 Report Share Posted January 10, 2006 In 2010, Jack Thompson is arrested and found guilty on all counts of murder, car-jacking, resisting arrest and crack possesstion/distribution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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